Paperboy #3

One of the oddest parts of being a paperboy was the aspect of collecting. I imagine things are done quite differently now, but way back when, the money for the newspapers was collected by the person who delivered the newspapers. The schedule worked so that i had to go door to door once every couple of weeks.

I had a record book that detailed how much each household owed. Each account got one page, and about half of the page was made up of little tickets (chits) with a date written on them. As the customer paid, i would tear off a chit & hand it over to them. People paid in cash. I had one of those metal change making gadgets, the kind that held dimes, nickels, quarters & pennies. I don't actually recall how the money i collected actually got into the hands of the Toronto Star, which means my parents probably handled those details.

The strange thing is that i remember very little of the actual collection of money. I remember going from house to house, knocking on the door but from there i don't recall anyone ever actually handing me money. This is probably because from the moment the customer opened the door, i began unconsciously being affected by everything that was going on in the house at the time.

I suppose examples are in order. There was an elderly couple from down the street who seemed to experience huge mood swings whenever i knocked to collect money. They were either in the best mood in the world or the foulest. I would either get a very large tip (sometimes 5 bucks which was huge) or either of them would freak out on me about the cost of the paper. It took years to figure out, but i eventually realized that the smell that i sometimes noticed was that of whiskey, which explains the vast mood swings.

There was a guy who lived alone. Since he was at the end of my route, by the time i got to him it was usually dark out. His house would be brightly lit up. Whenever i would come knocking to collect, all of the lights in his house would go off & he would come & answer the door. I could barely see the money as it changed hands.

I can remember another couple who would give me conflicting orders. One of them would tell me that i was not to put the paper in the mailbox - it was to go between the doors. Then a few weeks later, one of them would ask why on Earth i was putting the paper between the doors? This sort of back & forth would go on all the time.

One good thing about collecting money was that it helped me with my math at school. It taught me about "counting up" i.e. if you owe me $4.35 and give me a ten, i would produce your change by counting up from $4.35 - 5 cents brings me to $4.40, 10 cents brings me to $4.50, 2 quarters brings me to $5.00, and then a $5 bill would bring me up to the 10 you gave me - thus your change would be $5.65.

The other good thing was Christmas time. Most folks were kind enough to give good sized tips to their paperboy. I made a lot of cash over the holidays.

Next time i'll talk about canvassing for subscriptions.

Paperboy #2

For a while, i used a bicycle to help with my paper deliveries. I had a large basket installed on the front of one of my parent's old bikes that was big enough to hold a couple dozen newspapers. Obviously this made riding a little tricky, but some of the more faraway houses at the end of my route, it was a time saver.

Here is a map of my old neighbourhood:


I delivered along the length of Pringle Drive, as well as into the various courts. At the far end of Pringle there is a small court that appears to be unnamed on the map. It was here that one of my nemesis lived.

I cannot recall his last name, but his first name was Christopher. Not Chris. Not ever Chris, in fact. Christopher. We started out as friends & then one day he decided that we were enemies. I never found out why.

At some point, this young man decided that he would make my deliveries difficult by leaving out the family dog, attached to a long chain. In those days, we were supposed to put the paper directly into the mailbox unless told otherwise. If you didn't, the customer would usually call the Toronto Star & you'd be reprimanded. At first, when i arrived at this house, i would attempt to walk up to the mailbox but the (fairly scary) dog would throw a fit, snarling and barking. I would be forced to simply throw the paper up towards the door.

One day the dog was left off his chain. As i got off my bike, the dog came tearing down the driveway going 100 km an hour, barking its head off. I immediately jumped back on the bike and took off with the dog literally hot on my heels. The dog chased me out of the court, snapping at my heels & feet. I'm not proud to say it, but at a certain point i thought "enough of this" and kicked the dog in the head. Not hard enough to injure, but hard enough to elicit a whine and send him packing back home. Luckily enough i had no damage other than holes in my jeans from his choppers.

I got home and called the Star & told them what happened. They had a representative call up the customer & explain that if the dog was left out front, the paper couldn't be delivered. It happened a couple more times, and i simply passed the house by.

Collecting money was another story...

Paperboy: a Memoir

I used to be a newspaper delivery boy when i was younger. I had a couple of routes. I started out with the Oshawa Times. John Daniels from down the street had the route prior to me, but had been dumping the papers into his family's yard & down into the ravine across the street to avoid having to do the actual delivery part of the job. I guess he did not realize that since you only got paid by collecting from customers. That sort of put a kink in an otherwise mastermind scheme.

So then, the Oshawa times was looking for a new carrier. I took the job and delivered for about 2 weeks. I then got an offer from the Toronto Star, a much more prestigious paper. They paid better and even at that age, i understood the concept of "head hunting", so i took the route. My brother took the Oshawa times route, which was smaller and probably better suited to an 8 or 9 year old.

I had the route for 3 or 4 years, as i recall. I will share some of my memories of that route.

Back then, the paper was delivered after school on weekdays and in the morning on weekends. Wednesday, Saturday & Sunday were the hardest days because the papers were bigger on those days typically. Saturday's delivery was the most challenging. Rather than the regular single bundle, the papers showed up on the curb in 3 heavy bundles. You then had to put the paper together - comics & TV guide into sections H through E, then into sections D to A. Bulkwise, the papers were often 3 or 4 times heavier than Monday or Tuesday's paper. My hands were always black from the ink on Saturdays due to all the assembly that went on.

I was lucky at one point to acquire a large blue metal delivery cart. It stood about a meter high, and the horizontal dimensions were about that of a flat newspaper. You would pile the papers inside and then drag the box around on its 2 wheels, kind of like an enclosed dolly. It was also good for dragging your brother or sister around inside, hidden behind the canvas curtain that protected papers from the rain.

Unfortunately the cart was all but useless in the snow, so in winter i would typically divide my route in half. I would do one end of the street first, and then the next after stopping at home to pick up more papers.

Weekends were harder because i would usually get up around 6 or 7 a.m. to start delivery. Saturday was hardest because of the extra labour & weight, and also because a lot more people had that day's paper delivered. I think at one point i was up to 50 or 60 people on Saturdays.

These days, it seems that it is mostly adults with cars who deliver the newspaper. They certainly have it easier now. Cars? That's cheating. I also recall that i had very specific instructions by each customer as to where they wanted the paper delivered. People would get mad if i made a mistake and put the paper inside the screen door rather than into the mailbox. These days, people just drive their cars by your house & chuck the paper somewhere onto your property. I often find it in the hedge, under the car, etc. I feel lucky if the paper actually is touching my property.

I will write more later.