Paperboy: a Memoir

I used to be a newspaper delivery boy when i was younger. I had a couple of routes. I started out with the Oshawa Times. John Daniels from down the street had the route prior to me, but had been dumping the papers into his family's yard & down into the ravine across the street to avoid having to do the actual delivery part of the job. I guess he did not realize that since you only got paid by collecting from customers. That sort of put a kink in an otherwise mastermind scheme.

So then, the Oshawa times was looking for a new carrier. I took the job and delivered for about 2 weeks. I then got an offer from the Toronto Star, a much more prestigious paper. They paid better and even at that age, i understood the concept of "head hunting", so i took the route. My brother took the Oshawa times route, which was smaller and probably better suited to an 8 or 9 year old.

I had the route for 3 or 4 years, as i recall. I will share some of my memories of that route.

Back then, the paper was delivered after school on weekdays and in the morning on weekends. Wednesday, Saturday & Sunday were the hardest days because the papers were bigger on those days typically. Saturday's delivery was the most challenging. Rather than the regular single bundle, the papers showed up on the curb in 3 heavy bundles. You then had to put the paper together - comics & TV guide into sections H through E, then into sections D to A. Bulkwise, the papers were often 3 or 4 times heavier than Monday or Tuesday's paper. My hands were always black from the ink on Saturdays due to all the assembly that went on.

I was lucky at one point to acquire a large blue metal delivery cart. It stood about a meter high, and the horizontal dimensions were about that of a flat newspaper. You would pile the papers inside and then drag the box around on its 2 wheels, kind of like an enclosed dolly. It was also good for dragging your brother or sister around inside, hidden behind the canvas curtain that protected papers from the rain.

Unfortunately the cart was all but useless in the snow, so in winter i would typically divide my route in half. I would do one end of the street first, and then the next after stopping at home to pick up more papers.

Weekends were harder because i would usually get up around 6 or 7 a.m. to start delivery. Saturday was hardest because of the extra labour & weight, and also because a lot more people had that day's paper delivered. I think at one point i was up to 50 or 60 people on Saturdays.

These days, it seems that it is mostly adults with cars who deliver the newspaper. They certainly have it easier now. Cars? That's cheating. I also recall that i had very specific instructions by each customer as to where they wanted the paper delivered. People would get mad if i made a mistake and put the paper inside the screen door rather than into the mailbox. These days, people just drive their cars by your house & chuck the paper somewhere onto your property. I often find it in the hedge, under the car, etc. I feel lucky if the paper actually is touching my property.

I will write more later.