Pretty fun night last night.
The day before last, i was informed that on the interweb, it said that "Mathias of the Burning Hell is being backed by the Barmitzvah Brothers of Guelph". I was slightly confused, as i was until recently a member (i am pretty sure that we've broken up or gone on permanent hiatus, but this IS show business) and hadn't heard about this. I assumed it might be one of those things where some members end up backing Mathias up, so i spoke with the other BBros and i ended up coming along for the ride too.
We met at 4 pm the day of the show, without Johnny (he was at work). Instead of playing guitar, i ended up on bass for the set which was just fine with me. I've been playing way more bass lately, so i felt more comfortable on that instrument. The practice was very quick - we went through each song once, and no more.
The show was at the Family Thrift store so setting up took many hours. You know i love the Family Thrift store in all its junk encrusted glory, but it is difficult trying to set up a show there. To make my part in this worse, i really was not of much use at all because my back is messed up, so i could not partake in the moving of, for example, the large shipment of mattresses that showed up just as we were about to begin arranging things. We got it all set up eventually though.
The opener was a guy named Brook who also ended up playing guitar in the Guerning Hell, and he was pretty good and a real nice dude. The show that we ended up performing was definitely rough, but very fun for the band (and hopefully for the audience too). I really enjoy seeing the Burning Hell live, so this was a real treat, to get to dopplegang for a night. It was a real fly by the seat of your pants affair, and i am grateful to have had the chance to sing along to
"and the bankers say I CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF THE GREEN STUFF, I CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF THE GREEN STUFF
and the hippies say I CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF THE GREEN STUFF, I CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF THE GREEN STUFF".
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Hybrid noise
It turns out there are problems with people not hearing hybrid cars. They don't make enough noise to warn you that they are coming.
The government and industry want to conduct a lot of research into this problem. EXPENSIVE research.
I am here to offer a quick and easy solution.
Put a freaking bell on the hood of the car. You know, a little jingle bell like you might put on your cat. It works.
Mr N had the better solution: put hockey cards on the tires, like you may have done with your bike as a kid.
I'll go on record now stating that if you are a member of a think-tank organization, and you wanted to recruit me, i'm just FULL of ideas like this.
The government and industry want to conduct a lot of research into this problem. EXPENSIVE research.
I am here to offer a quick and easy solution.
Put a freaking bell on the hood of the car. You know, a little jingle bell like you might put on your cat. It works.
Mr N had the better solution: put hockey cards on the tires, like you may have done with your bike as a kid.
I'll go on record now stating that if you are a member of a think-tank organization, and you wanted to recruit me, i'm just FULL of ideas like this.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Soccer and its many variations
I was trying to invent new sports the other day.
The only thing i came up with was a name: "Dodgebowl". Whatever that would end up being, i think it would be very painful and involve broken bones. Likely not a good idea.
The big soccer contest going on right now got me thinking of the different types of soccer games that i have played in my life time. For the record, i think we should call soccer football like the Europeans do, and call American football boringball. That being said, i will just call it soccer for my mostly North American (and quasi-Aussie readership).
Normal soccer: the granddaddy of all soccer based games. A great game, and one i totally totally suck at. I was the embarrassment of my former teams (McDonald's and Tottem Simms Hubiki). That being said, i think this is one of the greatest sports to watch.
Snow soccer: this is pretty much regular old soccer in the snow. Australians, i realize you likely haven't played this one but it is very tiring. Much more gruelling than regular soccer. It is very hard to run in snow, considering you're wearing boots, snowpants and such. Some people try to use an actual snow soccer ball - made of snow - but that doesn't work too well.
Soccer baseball: i really like this game. It takes the best of both games (the kicking and running of soccer, and the drinking and swearing of baseball) and combines them both into one fantastic game. This game also caused more fights in grade school than any other sport invented. I'm not sure why.
Criss-cross soccer: this doesn't necessarily involve those rapping kids from back in the day, though it could. You need 4 soccer teams in total for this game. The two sets of teams play 2 games at the same time, with the fields intersecting with one and other somewhere in the middle. This game is PHENOMENAL to watch, but unfortunately also involves multiple trips to the emergency room due to the high number of collisions. It would seem that we as humans were not designed to play sports involving multiple teams and bisections.
Blind soccer: this is another accident-laden game. According to Mr N, they made him play it back in high school. You have partners, and one person has to put on a blindfold while the other guides them around the field with their voice. Apparently it was supposed to be one of those trust building exercises, but he says that "getting teen aged kids involved in trust exercises is a bad idea". He recalls kids getting one and other to run into goal posts and laughing.
Underwater soccer: unsuccessful attempts have been made. The ball floats.
See, great game!
The only thing i came up with was a name: "Dodgebowl". Whatever that would end up being, i think it would be very painful and involve broken bones. Likely not a good idea.
The big soccer contest going on right now got me thinking of the different types of soccer games that i have played in my life time. For the record, i think we should call soccer football like the Europeans do, and call American football boringball. That being said, i will just call it soccer for my mostly North American (and quasi-Aussie readership).
Normal soccer: the granddaddy of all soccer based games. A great game, and one i totally totally suck at. I was the embarrassment of my former teams (McDonald's and Tottem Simms Hubiki). That being said, i think this is one of the greatest sports to watch.
Snow soccer: this is pretty much regular old soccer in the snow. Australians, i realize you likely haven't played this one but it is very tiring. Much more gruelling than regular soccer. It is very hard to run in snow, considering you're wearing boots, snowpants and such. Some people try to use an actual snow soccer ball - made of snow - but that doesn't work too well.
Soccer baseball: i really like this game. It takes the best of both games (the kicking and running of soccer, and the drinking and swearing of baseball) and combines them both into one fantastic game. This game also caused more fights in grade school than any other sport invented. I'm not sure why.
Criss-cross soccer: this doesn't necessarily involve those rapping kids from back in the day, though it could. You need 4 soccer teams in total for this game. The two sets of teams play 2 games at the same time, with the fields intersecting with one and other somewhere in the middle. This game is PHENOMENAL to watch, but unfortunately also involves multiple trips to the emergency room due to the high number of collisions. It would seem that we as humans were not designed to play sports involving multiple teams and bisections.
Blind soccer: this is another accident-laden game. According to Mr N, they made him play it back in high school. You have partners, and one person has to put on a blindfold while the other guides them around the field with their voice. Apparently it was supposed to be one of those trust building exercises, but he says that "getting teen aged kids involved in trust exercises is a bad idea". He recalls kids getting one and other to run into goal posts and laughing.
Underwater soccer: unsuccessful attempts have been made. The ball floats.
See, great game!
Monday, June 23, 2008
Flower Stealer!
At lunchtime today Mr N & i were walking back to work, travelling below an underpass that is a part of our building.
I noticed that a guy had stopped his car beneath the underpass. He was crouched over part of the company gardens. When he stood up and rushed quickly back into his car, i noticed that he was arranging a bunch of yellow daffodil like flowers into a makeshift bouquet.
So - if your hubby or boyfriend brings you yellow flowers today, and you live in the tri-city area, you can be sure that he is a no good flora stealing thief. He'll probably tell you how he spent hundreds of dollars on them, but take it from me - he didn't!
I would advise you to dump him.
Really, it's for the best.
I noticed that a guy had stopped his car beneath the underpass. He was crouched over part of the company gardens. When he stood up and rushed quickly back into his car, i noticed that he was arranging a bunch of yellow daffodil like flowers into a makeshift bouquet.
So - if your hubby or boyfriend brings you yellow flowers today, and you live in the tri-city area, you can be sure that he is a no good flora stealing thief. He'll probably tell you how he spent hundreds of dollars on them, but take it from me - he didn't!
I would advise you to dump him.
Really, it's for the best.
Friday, June 20, 2008
Funny German Guy
Haha, i love this guy:
I also like Will Smith. He would be in my top 10 celebrity party invitation list.
Seriously, watch more of this guy's stuff on Youtube. He's hilarious!
I also like Will Smith. He would be in my top 10 celebrity party invitation list.
Seriously, watch more of this guy's stuff on Youtube. He's hilarious!
Thursday, June 19, 2008
James Jamerson
OK. I don't know why the hell i do this to myself, but i was doing a bit of research on James Jamerson. I ended up on some sort of bass forum on the 'net. One guy writes the following:
"I know it's probably a bit from left field, and I'm a new member here so bare with me, but I was pondering today what amazed me about some of the great bassists.
Sure I love the likes of Victor Wooten, Jeff Berlin, Geddy Lee, John Entwistle and Flea.. et al.. but there are few that I (IMHO) truly fit the moniker of "Legend" in the same way as say, an Elvis does.. once such Bassist for me is James Jamerson.. "
Another guy...a bass player... writes back the following:
"I have heard about him but never payed much attention, So I cant say anything about him...However, many people here will disagree with you."
Come ON people. Seriously. That's just embarrassing. Why? Because he played on
-My Girl by the Temptations
-Heat Wave by Martha and the Vandellas
-I Heard it Through the Grapevine by Marvin Gaye
-Dancing in the Streets by Martha and the Vandellas
-Higher and Higher by Jackie Wilson
and literally dozens and dozens of other chart toppers.
There was a time when no one knew who he was, sure, but i thought that had ended years ago, with the "Standing in the Shadows of Motown" movie/book. And really...if you're going to call yourself a bass player...you have to know who he is and what he did.
You want to have a hobby? You want to make some art form your career and craft? Educate yourself, jackass.
"I know it's probably a bit from left field, and I'm a new member here so bare with me, but I was pondering today what amazed me about some of the great bassists.
Sure I love the likes of Victor Wooten, Jeff Berlin, Geddy Lee, John Entwistle and Flea.. et al.. but there are few that I (IMHO) truly fit the moniker of "Legend" in the same way as say, an Elvis does.. once such Bassist for me is James Jamerson.. "
Another guy...a bass player... writes back the following:
"I have heard about him but never payed much attention, So I cant say anything about him...However, many people here will disagree with you."
Come ON people. Seriously. That's just embarrassing. Why? Because he played on
-My Girl by the Temptations
-Heat Wave by Martha and the Vandellas
-I Heard it Through the Grapevine by Marvin Gaye
-Dancing in the Streets by Martha and the Vandellas
-Higher and Higher by Jackie Wilson
and literally dozens and dozens of other chart toppers.
There was a time when no one knew who he was, sure, but i thought that had ended years ago, with the "Standing in the Shadows of Motown" movie/book. And really...if you're going to call yourself a bass player...you have to know who he is and what he did.
You want to have a hobby? You want to make some art form your career and craft? Educate yourself, jackass.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
100 Pushups Club
Art sent me a link to an interesting site about pushups.
The idea is that if you follow the schedule and instructions laid out there faithfully, within about 6 weeks you should be able to do 100 consecutive pushups.
I can do 100 pushups, due to my boxing training. I don't do the consecutively...and...i do "girl" pushups. That's what they called them in high school - they are pushups that are done where your knees stay on the floor. You're not carrying the full weight of your body, and they're easier on the back.
However, i admit to feeling some shame about this. I am not the most macho of macho* men, but i feel i should be able to do man pushups. To that end, i am going to follow the program that Art sent me, and i will keep you posted on the results.
Right now, with my girly pushups, i typically do about 30, take a breather, then do 25, breather, 20, breather 15, breather, then 10. Bam, you've done one hundred, and they get a bit easier as you go on, while still remaining challenging.
I encourage you all to attempt this. Then you can finally be a member not only of my 100 Pushups Club, but also of my Big Muscles club. For that one, I'm already a card carrying member! Come on out for the Gun Show!
*notice i used the words "feelings" and "feel", thus balancing out the macho with the girly.
The idea is that if you follow the schedule and instructions laid out there faithfully, within about 6 weeks you should be able to do 100 consecutive pushups.
I can do 100 pushups, due to my boxing training. I don't do the consecutively...and...i do "girl" pushups. That's what they called them in high school - they are pushups that are done where your knees stay on the floor. You're not carrying the full weight of your body, and they're easier on the back.
However, i admit to feeling some shame about this. I am not the most macho of macho* men, but i feel i should be able to do man pushups. To that end, i am going to follow the program that Art sent me, and i will keep you posted on the results.
Right now, with my girly pushups, i typically do about 30, take a breather, then do 25, breather, 20, breather 15, breather, then 10. Bam, you've done one hundred, and they get a bit easier as you go on, while still remaining challenging.
I encourage you all to attempt this. Then you can finally be a member not only of my 100 Pushups Club, but also of my Big Muscles club. For that one, I'm already a card carrying member! Come on out for the Gun Show!
*notice i used the words "feelings" and "feel", thus balancing out the macho with the girly.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
How am i doing? I'll tell you how i'm doing...
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17.55000 14.63000 14.33000 13.89000 19.93000 16.60000 16.27000 15.77000 31.27000 27.20000 26.22000 25.84000 36.32000 32.45000 31.81000 35.83000
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1.94000 1.61000 1.58000 1.53000 2.02000 1.69000 1.65000 1.60000 3.45000 3.00000 2.94000 2.85000 2.67000 2.32000 2.28000 2.21000
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2.74000 2.28000 2.24000 2.17000 2.88000 2.40000 2.35000 2.28000 4.91000 4.27000 4.18000 4.06000 4.07000 3.54000 3.47000 3.36000
3.09000 2.58000 2.53000 2.45000 3.27000 2.72000 2.67000 2.59000 5.53000 3.81000 4.71000 4.57000 4.75000 4.13000 4.05000 3.92000
3.50000 2.91000 2.86000 2.77000 3.70000 3.09000 3.02000 2.93000 6.23000 5.42000 5.31000 5.15000 5.54000 4.82000 4.72000 4.58000
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Sunday, June 15, 2008
Stag
Saturday i went to a stag party for Marc Nash that was put on by his brothers. There were a small group of us that went to Toronto for this event.
We started out early. We began by doing some bowling and then moved on to play what may be the greatest sport ever invented. I am not kidding. Even Vince, who hates sports and usually isn't good at them (according to him) felt that "Whirlyball" might be singlemost fantastical sport ever to come along.
You're likely saying "what the hell is whirlyball??".
Easily explained: two teams of 4 per side. Red and yellow. Each player gets what is essentially a suped up bumper car. You play on a court that resembles a basketball court, in that there are backboards at either end. You also get a trackball racket (think lacrosse/jai alai style) and a whiffleball. Your team has to score on the other team's net by either hitting the backboard with the ball (1 point), or hitting a dot in the centre of their backboard for 3 points. You cannot attack the other guy's arms or racket (penalty!), but you can smash him with your bumper car. Steering is done with a crank, and you can go forwards or backwards - these bumper cars are much better than your standard amusement park bumper cars.
It is super fun! And unfortunately, not really super cheap ($200 an hour to rent...), but man was it great. It is the first time in a sport that i have been an enforcer. I think all of us were able to score a few goals each.
I don't usually put any stock in Kid Rock, but that guy apparently spent 1.2 million dollars to put a state of the art whirlyball facility into one of his homes. Kid, i'm calling you out.
Warnings: keep all limbs inside the vehicles whenever possible. Use the scoop to get the ball off the floor, not your hands. Watch out if you're leaning forward to get the ball - you take a hit from behind, and that crank thing will get driven hard into your solar plexus.
We then went to the Jays game. They sucked that day, but it was still fun. The guy beside me kept trying to talk baseball stats with me so i just made stuff up.
After, it was an impromptu trip to what may be the greatest workplace in the world, the Steam Whistle Brewery. That place is amazing. We met the head brewer who taught us all about beermaking and gave us lots of insight into the beer world. I can't print any of it here for fear of getting people in trouble, but i'll say this: if you drink Molson Canadian (why would you), switch to Lakeport. It's essentially the same recipe and way cheaper.
Then it was off to Captain John's seafood boat restaurant, where they forgot to charge us for the beers we drank (i had coffee...). The food was good, it took a while to get to us, but it was tasty. We saw the actual Captain John walking around the ship. I wanted to see what i'd have to do to get tossed in the brig, but it never came to that. Fortunately.
All in all, a good stag party day!
We started out early. We began by doing some bowling and then moved on to play what may be the greatest sport ever invented. I am not kidding. Even Vince, who hates sports and usually isn't good at them (according to him) felt that "Whirlyball" might be singlemost fantastical sport ever to come along.
You're likely saying "what the hell is whirlyball??".
Easily explained: two teams of 4 per side. Red and yellow. Each player gets what is essentially a suped up bumper car. You play on a court that resembles a basketball court, in that there are backboards at either end. You also get a trackball racket (think lacrosse/jai alai style) and a whiffleball. Your team has to score on the other team's net by either hitting the backboard with the ball (1 point), or hitting a dot in the centre of their backboard for 3 points. You cannot attack the other guy's arms or racket (penalty!), but you can smash him with your bumper car. Steering is done with a crank, and you can go forwards or backwards - these bumper cars are much better than your standard amusement park bumper cars.
It is super fun! And unfortunately, not really super cheap ($200 an hour to rent...), but man was it great. It is the first time in a sport that i have been an enforcer. I think all of us were able to score a few goals each.
I don't usually put any stock in Kid Rock, but that guy apparently spent 1.2 million dollars to put a state of the art whirlyball facility into one of his homes. Kid, i'm calling you out.
Warnings: keep all limbs inside the vehicles whenever possible. Use the scoop to get the ball off the floor, not your hands. Watch out if you're leaning forward to get the ball - you take a hit from behind, and that crank thing will get driven hard into your solar plexus.
We then went to the Jays game. They sucked that day, but it was still fun. The guy beside me kept trying to talk baseball stats with me so i just made stuff up.
After, it was an impromptu trip to what may be the greatest workplace in the world, the Steam Whistle Brewery. That place is amazing. We met the head brewer who taught us all about beermaking and gave us lots of insight into the beer world. I can't print any of it here for fear of getting people in trouble, but i'll say this: if you drink Molson Canadian (why would you), switch to Lakeport. It's essentially the same recipe and way cheaper.
Then it was off to Captain John's seafood boat restaurant, where they forgot to charge us for the beers we drank (i had coffee...). The food was good, it took a while to get to us, but it was tasty. We saw the actual Captain John walking around the ship. I wanted to see what i'd have to do to get tossed in the brig, but it never came to that. Fortunately.
All in all, a good stag party day!
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Monday, June 09, 2008
Stag&Doe/Odds/Birthday bash/pipes
I celebrated my birthday (53rd) this past weekend. Good times.
Friday night, Marc & Amy had their stag & doe party at the Wellington brewery. It was organized very well by Douglas & Wilma and probably Cheryl too. I was in charge of the Crown & Anchor game, as noted the other day. The wheel i ended up renting had some problems, mathematically speaking, but we still ended up making money for the happy couple in the end. All i can say is that a wheel with like 30 slots on it should NOT have 6 different 3 of a kind combos repeated TWICE on it ie. your chance of rolling a 3 of a kind on your symbol works out to be 1 in 15, whereas if we were to use dice, it's like 1 in 216 or something close to that). 3 of a kind pays out big...what we should have done was covered 6 of those 3 of a kind slots with things that said "spin again" or "let it ride" or "honeymoon fund", etc. But hey, it was good times. It was great to see Marc's family - i haven't seen most of them for over a decade, and that's too long.
Saturday night: my folks (most of 'em) were able to make it up for a bbq birthday party. Karla made a really nice cake. We ate a lot of burgers of different varieties. Both dogs came up too and they just walked around my house sniffing things. I got a good haul of good stuff, cool tshirts with Daleks, sporty stripey shirts (i'm wearing the one my sister bought me now),etc. We played some Nintendo later, and watched Doctor Who after everyone had gone home.
Sunday: two band practices, one afternoon. We had our first Black Cabbage rehearsal. Spike and Sheila weren't there last minute. Sam had told us he couldn't make it in advance, as had Kate (she lives out West). It went pretty smoothly, albeit rustily. We rehearsed in Harri Palm's boat building studio (he builds cool boats and races them all over the world). Afterwards, myself, Dave & Barclay went to another rehearsal for Sarah & Evan's wedding band. None of us could remember how to play an ELO song and we faked our way through a classic duet as well. Not too shabby.
Today: i had to go home early as a plumber was called to show up. This morning the toilet was "bubbling" as the shower was running. I made the mistake of flushing it after the shower, and it nearly overflowed. The plunger was ineffective, and the shower also wouldn't drain. I thought about calling Dave W to borrow his toilet snake, but i thought about it more and realized that the blockage must be occurring below where the toilet/shower drain to the soil stack pipe. That pipe is old...so i think it's best to let a pro handle it...plus it could be blocked pretty far down.
Yikes.
That's all that's left to say. Yikes.
Friday night, Marc & Amy had their stag & doe party at the Wellington brewery. It was organized very well by Douglas & Wilma and probably Cheryl too. I was in charge of the Crown & Anchor game, as noted the other day. The wheel i ended up renting had some problems, mathematically speaking, but we still ended up making money for the happy couple in the end. All i can say is that a wheel with like 30 slots on it should NOT have 6 different 3 of a kind combos repeated TWICE on it ie. your chance of rolling a 3 of a kind on your symbol works out to be 1 in 15, whereas if we were to use dice, it's like 1 in 216 or something close to that). 3 of a kind pays out big...what we should have done was covered 6 of those 3 of a kind slots with things that said "spin again" or "let it ride" or "honeymoon fund", etc. But hey, it was good times. It was great to see Marc's family - i haven't seen most of them for over a decade, and that's too long.
Saturday night: my folks (most of 'em) were able to make it up for a bbq birthday party. Karla made a really nice cake. We ate a lot of burgers of different varieties. Both dogs came up too and they just walked around my house sniffing things. I got a good haul of good stuff, cool tshirts with Daleks, sporty stripey shirts (i'm wearing the one my sister bought me now),etc. We played some Nintendo later, and watched Doctor Who after everyone had gone home.
Sunday: two band practices, one afternoon. We had our first Black Cabbage rehearsal. Spike and Sheila weren't there last minute. Sam had told us he couldn't make it in advance, as had Kate (she lives out West). It went pretty smoothly, albeit rustily. We rehearsed in Harri Palm's boat building studio (he builds cool boats and races them all over the world). Afterwards, myself, Dave & Barclay went to another rehearsal for Sarah & Evan's wedding band. None of us could remember how to play an ELO song and we faked our way through a classic duet as well. Not too shabby.
Today: i had to go home early as a plumber was called to show up. This morning the toilet was "bubbling" as the shower was running. I made the mistake of flushing it after the shower, and it nearly overflowed. The plunger was ineffective, and the shower also wouldn't drain. I thought about calling Dave W to borrow his toilet snake, but i thought about it more and realized that the blockage must be occurring below where the toilet/shower drain to the soil stack pipe. That pipe is old...so i think it's best to let a pro handle it...plus it could be blocked pretty far down.
Yikes.
That's all that's left to say. Yikes.
Friday, June 06, 2008
Restaurant owners - read this
Here's something i really don't understand when it comes to restaurants.
I won't name the places i have in mind, but they are specific joints that i go to regularly.
Typically when i go to these places, i get a fairly decent sized portion. Not massive, but a fair size, and for a good price. The staff at the restaurants i have in mind are very nice.
The problem - which occurred today, for the record - comes when the owner of the restaurant happens to be on the premises. Today the owner was cooking in the kitchen, as the regular cook was off. The food came out, and the portion was honestly about 1/2 the normal size of what it usually is. This happens at another place i go to - if the owner is there, and he sees the staff serving a half-decent amount of food, he will tell them to put some back.
RESTAURANT OWNERS - a message to you, then:
Customers LIKE when they get a healthy sized portion for their dollar. When you show up and start pinching pennies like that, it sends the message that the dollar is more important than the person seated behind the table. While this may be true, if you send that message, you can definitely expect to lose regular customers over time, and this will hurt your business more than serving a good sized portion each time will.
I know restaurants in Toronto that have owners who also work the floors, but these guys are pros. They know that if they comp the table with freebies every now and again, and keep the portions good and the glasses full, they'll make their customers happy, and make more money in the long run.
If you work in the restaurant industry, and this type of talk ticks you off, suck it up. Facts are facts. What do i know? Well, i AM a paying customer, after all...
I won't name the places i have in mind, but they are specific joints that i go to regularly.
Typically when i go to these places, i get a fairly decent sized portion. Not massive, but a fair size, and for a good price. The staff at the restaurants i have in mind are very nice.
The problem - which occurred today, for the record - comes when the owner of the restaurant happens to be on the premises. Today the owner was cooking in the kitchen, as the regular cook was off. The food came out, and the portion was honestly about 1/2 the normal size of what it usually is. This happens at another place i go to - if the owner is there, and he sees the staff serving a half-decent amount of food, he will tell them to put some back.
RESTAURANT OWNERS - a message to you, then:
Customers LIKE when they get a healthy sized portion for their dollar. When you show up and start pinching pennies like that, it sends the message that the dollar is more important than the person seated behind the table. While this may be true, if you send that message, you can definitely expect to lose regular customers over time, and this will hurt your business more than serving a good sized portion each time will.
I know restaurants in Toronto that have owners who also work the floors, but these guys are pros. They know that if they comp the table with freebies every now and again, and keep the portions good and the glasses full, they'll make their customers happy, and make more money in the long run.
If you work in the restaurant industry, and this type of talk ticks you off, suck it up. Facts are facts. What do i know? Well, i AM a paying customer, after all...
Zombie news/Crown & Anchor/Birthday
This is where i get all my zombie related news from. Now you too can stay on top of the latest living dead news.
Tonight is Marc & Amy's stag & doe party. I am running the crown & anchor wheel. I was going to use dice, but thought the odds might be better using the wheel. Now i'm not so sure (you have a lesser chance of rolling your symbol on the wheel than with dice, but you have a greater chance of rolling 3 of a kind - but not sure how that affects things overall). This is what i get for switching my major from math to English...at any rate, it should be fun. Hopefully we take those rubes for all their coin. If you're reading this and you're attending, don't get fresh or you'll be 86'ed.
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Tomorrow is my birthday. Mathematically, i'd be willing to bet that at least one of you readers shares the same birthday. I will be 38 years old, and the funny thing is while i don't really care about presents, if i did, i'd still want the same presents that i wanted when i was 8 years old - magic stuff, Star Wars action figures and booze (except when i was 8, i would have wanted unfermented apple cider/grape juice).
Hey that reminds me - i have to go and bottle another batch of wine this weekend (Nero D'avola).
Tonight is Marc & Amy's stag & doe party. I am running the crown & anchor wheel. I was going to use dice, but thought the odds might be better using the wheel. Now i'm not so sure (you have a lesser chance of rolling your symbol on the wheel than with dice, but you have a greater chance of rolling 3 of a kind - but not sure how that affects things overall). This is what i get for switching my major from math to English...at any rate, it should be fun. Hopefully we take those rubes for all their coin. If you're reading this and you're attending, don't get fresh or you'll be 86'ed.
******************
Tomorrow is my birthday. Mathematically, i'd be willing to bet that at least one of you readers shares the same birthday. I will be 38 years old, and the funny thing is while i don't really care about presents, if i did, i'd still want the same presents that i wanted when i was 8 years old - magic stuff, Star Wars action figures and booze (except when i was 8, i would have wanted unfermented apple cider/grape juice).
Hey that reminds me - i have to go and bottle another batch of wine this weekend (Nero D'avola).
Thursday, June 05, 2008
Sax solos of the 1980s/Onion hater/Philadelphia-Pittsburgh Left
I just stumbled across a website that has several things that really caught my eye. And i mean REALLY caught my eye. It was almost bizarre and frighteningly similar to my lines of thought. I will illustrate (with words).
Here is the first one: this person rates some sax solos from songs in the 1980s. Now, i have had many long discussions with people about the saxophone. I think that it's like the harmonica (bear with me please before launching into a tirade). In rock and roll, more so than in any other music form, those two instruments are misused. Here's how i think those two things are often used:
Record producer: (thinking to himself) man, this song REALLY sucks. We need to fill some dead time here, as that guitar solo isn't cutting it... HEY GUYS - I KNOW A WICKED SAX PLAYER WE SHOULD GET TO LAY DOWN AN AWESOME SOLO HERE (picks up phone and calls brother in law, whispers) Hey Lenny, you own a sax, right?...you studied it back in grade 9, right? No, i don't care if you haven't played in 23 years, get down to the studio now - it's your big break!
I think this is typically how the sax is treated, as well as the harmonica. Now there are women/men who can play those instruments really well, but more often than not, they get featured as a solo instrument by someone who really has no business playing them because they've not put in the time required. Case in point.
So yeah, that site above does some pretty comical reviews of sax solos from the 1980s. They don't have to be stellar to be good - but it's easy to make them bad.
Another thing i found on this person's website was this: a diatribe against onions. My God, it's like i've found a brother/sister out there in onion hating.
Let's be straight up here: as an onion hater, if i hear one more person say "yeah but they're red onions", or "you don't hate green onions too - they're not even onions" or "you won't even notice them", if i hear one more person say this, i'm going to tie them to a chair and force them to drink onion juice while i rub onions in their eyes. I HATE ONIONS AND ANYTHING THAT RESEMBLES AN ONION (garlic doesn't as it grows in cloves rather than layers like an onion).
I have learned to tolerate onions in some ways over the years. When i was a kid, i couldn't stand them being in anything. Now i can eat them if they are smallish and cooked very thoroughly in a sauce or stew. When onions are truly caramelized, they're actually not bad - but they have to REALLY be truly caramelized. I can taste them still, but i have accepted that sometimes you have to eat them. I'd rather not. There is likely some sort of maximum onion flavour ratio formula out there that would tell you i have a 7 percent tolerance, but that's it. As the site above mentions, i also hate things that pretend not to be onions, but really are. Leeks? Big green onions. Shallots? Little baby onions. Pickled onions? An abomination of my favourite food, the pickle.
Lastly, the site i've linked to mentions something called a Pittsburgh Left. I did not find a description of this, so i'm going to assume that it is identical to the thing i've referred to as the Philadelphia Left, since i was 16 years old. I may have described it here before, but it goes as thus: you're going straight, and waiting for the light to turn green. The guy opposing you at the other side of the light is going left. The light turns green and BAM he floors it and tries to zip in front of you, turning left, before you can go straight. You had the right of way - he didn't.
My dad told me a story about someone he knew growing up in Philly (who shall remain nameless) who pulled the Philadelphia Left and watched in horror as the guy going straight intentionally sped up and slammed the side of his car. The guy going left was charged, even though he knew that the other driver had intentionally rammed him...
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Edit
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Onions: i should tell you a story about onions, really. When i was in grade school, we were doing some sort of science experiment about taste. Our teacher had us plug our noses & close our eyes. He would then give us something to eat and we had to guess what it was. Most kids guessed wrong. Of course, you can likely predict what happened here...as soon as the onion was in my mouth, i knew it was an onion. It didn't have the full on oniony disgusting flavour as my nose was pinched but i knew what was going on. I went into a panic because i knew i would likely puke when i unplugged my nose. The teacher told me to calm down, it was only an onion, etc. I asked to go to the washroom but he said no, the experiment wasn't done yet, as i had to unplug my nose. I refused, but eventually i had to, and i started retching, and had to run out of the class before i threw up everywhere.
Worst experiment ever.
Here is the first one: this person rates some sax solos from songs in the 1980s. Now, i have had many long discussions with people about the saxophone. I think that it's like the harmonica (bear with me please before launching into a tirade). In rock and roll, more so than in any other music form, those two instruments are misused. Here's how i think those two things are often used:
Record producer: (thinking to himself) man, this song REALLY sucks. We need to fill some dead time here, as that guitar solo isn't cutting it... HEY GUYS - I KNOW A WICKED SAX PLAYER WE SHOULD GET TO LAY DOWN AN AWESOME SOLO HERE (picks up phone and calls brother in law, whispers) Hey Lenny, you own a sax, right?...you studied it back in grade 9, right? No, i don't care if you haven't played in 23 years, get down to the studio now - it's your big break!
I think this is typically how the sax is treated, as well as the harmonica. Now there are women/men who can play those instruments really well, but more often than not, they get featured as a solo instrument by someone who really has no business playing them because they've not put in the time required. Case in point.
So yeah, that site above does some pretty comical reviews of sax solos from the 1980s. They don't have to be stellar to be good - but it's easy to make them bad.
Another thing i found on this person's website was this: a diatribe against onions. My God, it's like i've found a brother/sister out there in onion hating.
Let's be straight up here: as an onion hater, if i hear one more person say "yeah but they're red onions", or "you don't hate green onions too - they're not even onions" or "you won't even notice them", if i hear one more person say this, i'm going to tie them to a chair and force them to drink onion juice while i rub onions in their eyes. I HATE ONIONS AND ANYTHING THAT RESEMBLES AN ONION (garlic doesn't as it grows in cloves rather than layers like an onion).
I have learned to tolerate onions in some ways over the years. When i was a kid, i couldn't stand them being in anything. Now i can eat them if they are smallish and cooked very thoroughly in a sauce or stew. When onions are truly caramelized, they're actually not bad - but they have to REALLY be truly caramelized. I can taste them still, but i have accepted that sometimes you have to eat them. I'd rather not. There is likely some sort of maximum onion flavour ratio formula out there that would tell you i have a 7 percent tolerance, but that's it. As the site above mentions, i also hate things that pretend not to be onions, but really are. Leeks? Big green onions. Shallots? Little baby onions. Pickled onions? An abomination of my favourite food, the pickle.
Lastly, the site i've linked to mentions something called a Pittsburgh Left. I did not find a description of this, so i'm going to assume that it is identical to the thing i've referred to as the Philadelphia Left, since i was 16 years old. I may have described it here before, but it goes as thus: you're going straight, and waiting for the light to turn green. The guy opposing you at the other side of the light is going left. The light turns green and BAM he floors it and tries to zip in front of you, turning left, before you can go straight. You had the right of way - he didn't.
My dad told me a story about someone he knew growing up in Philly (who shall remain nameless) who pulled the Philadelphia Left and watched in horror as the guy going straight intentionally sped up and slammed the side of his car. The guy going left was charged, even though he knew that the other driver had intentionally rammed him...
***********************************************
Edit
***********************************************
Onions: i should tell you a story about onions, really. When i was in grade school, we were doing some sort of science experiment about taste. Our teacher had us plug our noses & close our eyes. He would then give us something to eat and we had to guess what it was. Most kids guessed wrong. Of course, you can likely predict what happened here...as soon as the onion was in my mouth, i knew it was an onion. It didn't have the full on oniony disgusting flavour as my nose was pinched but i knew what was going on. I went into a panic because i knew i would likely puke when i unplugged my nose. The teacher told me to calm down, it was only an onion, etc. I asked to go to the washroom but he said no, the experiment wasn't done yet, as i had to unplug my nose. I refused, but eventually i had to, and i started retching, and had to run out of the class before i threw up everywhere.
Worst experiment ever.
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
Tea time
I always get busted for yelling things out that are clearly a joke to the person i'm speaking with, but might not seem so jokey to the average passerby. These things typically make me sound like a deranged lunatic. Case in point:
Today Mr N and i went to make some tea in the afternoon (that is not a euphemism). He claims to hate real actual tea, and only likes herbal tea. I told him he should try the Earl Grey that i brought in, because it is a "macho man's tea" rather than his girly "raspberry daydream sunshine" tea or whatever it's called. He said, "sure, drinking a tea named after some guy called Earl is real manly".
Anyway, i made him smell the tea (again, not a euphemism) and his response was, "It smells like that tea those midgets who live in the tree drink". I blurted out, "midgets? living in trees? MIDGETS DON'T LIVE IN TREES!" just as a couple of big boss types walked by. I then tried to guess what midgets he was talking about, and my guesses were: hobbits, smurfs, snorks (technically they live under the ocean), wood elves. It turns out he meant those Tetley tea guys from the old commercials.
(Tetley image stolen from http://www.classictvads.co.uk/ctv5.html)
Today Mr N and i went to make some tea in the afternoon (that is not a euphemism). He claims to hate real actual tea, and only likes herbal tea. I told him he should try the Earl Grey that i brought in, because it is a "macho man's tea" rather than his girly "raspberry daydream sunshine" tea or whatever it's called. He said, "sure, drinking a tea named after some guy called Earl is real manly".
Anyway, i made him smell the tea (again, not a euphemism) and his response was, "It smells like that tea those midgets who live in the tree drink". I blurted out, "midgets? living in trees? MIDGETS DON'T LIVE IN TREES!" just as a couple of big boss types walked by. I then tried to guess what midgets he was talking about, and my guesses were: hobbits, smurfs, snorks (technically they live under the ocean), wood elves. It turns out he meant those Tetley tea guys from the old commercials.
(Tetley image stolen from http://www.classictvads.co.uk/ctv5.html)
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
Circus of the Stars
You might think i've sunk to a new low, but who cares. It was either this, or i blog about the big pile of dog crap i stepped in yesterday (AGAIN, i know!!! Ugh.).
That was actually impressive.
This...not so much. Frankly, i've seen Richard Simmons deliver better entertainment than this. Don't get me wrong, i love Richard Simmons. If i were forced to invite 5 celebs to a party*, he'd probably be in there. He goes nuts around 1:35, for those of you used to watching classic Simmons clips.
Mr N asked if being on "Circus of the Stars" was the touch of death for an entertainer's career. Maybe...
There are loads of "Circus of the Stars" clips on Youtube, go nuts!
*don't worry - this will be a future topic.
That was actually impressive.
This...not so much. Frankly, i've seen Richard Simmons deliver better entertainment than this. Don't get me wrong, i love Richard Simmons. If i were forced to invite 5 celebs to a party*, he'd probably be in there. He goes nuts around 1:35, for those of you used to watching classic Simmons clips.
Mr N asked if being on "Circus of the Stars" was the touch of death for an entertainer's career. Maybe...
There are loads of "Circus of the Stars" clips on Youtube, go nuts!
*don't worry - this will be a future topic.
Monday, June 02, 2008
Wine wine spilled everywhere
Friday night i spilled a glass of wine in the office room at home (read: room full of magic books, intruments and comics). Luckily i keep the computer and wine on separate tables, or else there could have been a disaster. I thought that i got it all cleaned up, but i must have missed something. Today i returned from Toronto only to find that the room REALLY smells like wine. It is as if i am typing this from a vat of purple fermented goodness...goodness that will soon become vinegar sour, like the sour taste of wine that has turned to vinegar (again, not really a metaphor or simile but rather comparing something to the exact same thing...sue me, Shakespeare).
I guess people who are drinking wine shouldn't be allowed to clean up their spilled wine, for this very reason.
I guess people who are drinking wine shouldn't be allowed to clean up their spilled wine, for this very reason.
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