Guess what's back?

Thanks for all your support during the Red River Cereal Crisis of 2011 (RRCC '11). But guess what - it's back! Back on the shelves! With a sticker that says that it *may* contain traces of soy in it. All this because of a "may" situation. And Soy. Seriously? Who called that one in? Some anti-hippies from a mirror-world universe? Who the h**k hates soy?

So it's back. I bought a box but have not opened it yet. I need to force myself to finish the (shudder) Kashi cereals i've been eating in the interim. Seriously, i cannot believe i lowered my standards and bought something called Honey Sunshine. And then i can't believe that i legally changed my name to Honey Sunshine. It's just embarrassing.

I'm going to make myself some Red River next week because, hey, it's Christmas this weekend and it's the gift that keeps on giving.

Honey Sunshine...yikes.

More oversized novelty truck nonsense

Sigh. Once again i used one of my best lines to dispatch a moron.

Zehr's parking lot. It's dusk. I am walking through the lot (not between cars) and some idiot in an oversized novelty truck comes tearing out from around the building heading towards myself & another pedestrian. He sees us (or so i think) at the last second, swerves & then starts screeching backwards into a spot - right where i am standing. I run to get out of the way. My 6th sense goes off telling me that there might be trouble from the driver. I make my way into the supermarket - i wasn't actually going there - but good self-defense teaches us to ensure we are not alone when crazy stuff happens. I can hear him slamming the doors & stomping his way over to me.

I get inside the supermarket & see him come in very angry looking. I turn my back, count to five & turn around & look right at him. I say, "Hi!" and he begins a tirade of nonsense. Shouting loudly, he tells me that i scared him to death because i ran behind his truck as he was backing up. I explain that he nearly hit me not once but twice & that perhaps he didn't see me because it was dark out (always give them a way to save face) and that there was actually another guy there too. He then begins swearing & making threats. As he begins to puff up gorilla style, I lead off with:

"Are you really going to talk to me like this in a crowded supermarket full of people?"

...and then deliver the classic: "your truck is a black Ford F150 and i can get your plate number in about 10 seconds".

Gears turn in his head as he does the math. I let him stew for a few moments before wishing him a Merry Christmas & walk away.

Be careful out there.

Red River ?

I am sad because i can no longer find Red River cereal at the supermarket. I guess they've stopped carrying it. I was likely the only one buying it, and really i was only buying a box a month. That stuff was such a good deal - very healthy, easy to make and quite cheap. A 5 dollar box lasted me a month. I will have to check around to see if they have it elsewhere.

I started trying other cereals which means i will probably fall into the cereal trap again. I could eat breakfast cereal all day which is not a good thing. However, i'm still being smart about it. I've been using a measuring cup for it like i have been for the past year so that helps. My latest kick is a Kashi brand cereal named "Honey Sunshine". Sounds like a hippy folksinger, i know, but it's actually alright.

I miss Red River, though. True, it looks like birdseed, and maybe even tastes like birdseed but i like it anyhow. It reminds me of my childhood, when i used to sneak food from the bird's cage in our classroom at school.

Let me know if you see it anywhere.

American Horror Story

The problem with the new show "American Horror Story" is that it's not scary. It would be like calling a show "America's Funniest Home Videos", but the videos aren't actually funny, so therefore...

The director/writers seem to be trying out the method of jamming every single possible horror movie cliche into a one hour program. That is like trying to bake a cake with everything in your fridge & cupboards and then expecting it to be palatable. Actually, *THAT* would be more horrifying than this show.

Horror shows are hard to do. Despite people's complaints about the Walking Dead, i'm enjoying that show. This show, not so much.

I appreciate the attempt but so far, not so good.

Metaluppalypse

Someone (not me) needs to do one of those mash up style videos where you take a set of visual images & juxtapose them with an unexpected choice of music. Now, i do realize this may not fit the definition of "mash up" but if you care that much about it, there's nothing i can do to help. Seek a professional.

Metallica. Muppets. Wearing a preacher's collar.

Pastor of Muppets.

You have my permission. Just send me a portion of your royalties.


PS: don't tell Metallica. They have internet issues.

Fridge

We got a new fridge last week which is good because the old one was out to get me.

It would freeze vegetables & ruin them. It would keep its own door open & intentionally ruin all of its own food! Who does that? Sometimes it would spew random puffs of vapour at me when i opened it, like a snorting bull. A bull that wanted to wreck all of our food.

Let's not even get into the drawer situation. OK, let's. Drawers too small to hold standard items of produce. A meat drawer that kept falling off of the track.

The worst, though was the mysterious disgusting trail of bilgewater that was leaking from the bottom. I know someone will chime in and talk about the drip tray here, and that's fine, but bilgewater is bilgewater and i am glad to see it go.

In fact, now that i think about it, i'm pretty sure that fridge was haunted. So it's good that we got rid of it. The new one seems much better. I've been told there is technically less space in it, but so what? If it ruins less food, so much the better.

Now, tomorrow, our new chest freezer shows up. Talk about living it up!!

Pizza party

There's pizza, and then there's PIZZA.

In an age where big company pizza shops offer 4 for 1 deals there is very little room for the little guy. In a time where you can drop by and pick up a "hot & ready" pepperoni pizza for 5 bucks from a multinational corporation, it's tough for the mom and pop places (and seriously - if a large pizza costs 5 bucks, how good will it actually be?).

Most places use bad ingredients. Cheese that isn't actually cheese. Crust that tastes like it was made with Aunt Jemima pancake batter. Sauce that little kids would be proud to put on hot dogs & french fries. And what about the love? Where is the love? They *claim* to use love, but really it's just that pretend love people use just to get something they want from you (your G.I. Joe with Kung Fu grip, that box of Salt Water Taffy that you brought back from the shore for your sweetheart only to find that the person in question is now dating your buddy from your homeroom...or in this case, money).

Well, there's a pizza place down the road from us that makes their pizza with love. They don't have love for me necessarily, but they do have love for making pizza and it shows. It also costs a lot more, but it's worth it. They have also changed their name several times even though it's still the same owners. I think they're currently called Pizza Del Nonno. "Grandpa's Pizza", i guess. Last night i ordered one that had fresh basil, pesto & walnuts on it, amongst other things. It was delicious. Can you imagine Domino's putting walnuts on a pizza?

I wish there were more places like this around. It probably cost us more than twice what we'd pay elsewhere, but it was more than twice as good too. It's a trade off. If i was going to feed a football team i'd probably just order from Pizza Pizza and be done with it. But for special occasions (i.e. when i want pizza), i'll order the better quality stuff. I know many of you will tell me how you make awesome homemade pizza...everyone loves to brag about that particular item...but sometimes, you just want someone else to make it for you. I'll order from Nonno's or whatever they are called this week.

Clothes. Again with the clothes.

I went out last week & bought clothes from a variety of crummy places. Some of these stores i used to dig, but not so much now. It really truly seems like all my regular clothes buying places have scaled back on what they carry. Example: i was very hard pressed (no pun intended...) to find wrinkle resistant shirts. Those were all the rage a few years back, but they cost a little more. Even the once reliable Mark's Work Wearhouse has truly cut down on their men's business casual selection. I used to go there & find a dozen shirts & pants no problem. I came out of there with one of each mostly because i just wasn't feeling it.

So the long and short of this is that i will be much more rumpled & wrinkled in appearance on a day to day basis. I know, joke away, but it's the truth. Of the 7 shirts that i picked up, only 1 is wrinkle resistant. The others already look like that unused kleenex you find in your pants pocket. Same with the pants - only a couple of pairs are wrinkle free.

Obviously the solution is to iron. Not likely to happen. But hey, at least these new clothes won't be the wrong size.

PS: here was part of my Facebook status the day i went shopping: "I went to Mark's Work Wearhouse (used to be awesome, not so awesome anymore), Old Navy (providing you with the cheapest prices anywhere courtesy of cheap South-Asian labour), Winners (it's the most confusing store in the world, looks like it's stocked by a combination of crack-heads, fengshui school dropouts and absent minded professors) and finally Sears (i buy the Arnold Palmer clothes and not to be ironic, but they put pins in all their shirts still like it was the 1960s & i always get stuck by one). I think i cobbled together enough outfits to get me through the first 1/2 of the year."